Everything sounds better in French

I mentioned previously that I tend to get distracted extremely easily. None the more so than when shoes are involved. The purpose of my expedition to the DFO shopping centre the other day was actually to find a swimming cap and goggles, but I happened to walk past a great big shoe outlet which lured me in with its promise not only of fabulous bargains, but better hair, a supermodel figure, Prince Charming arriving on a white charger, a castle by the sea and so on. You know how a great pair of shoes tend to spark crazy daydreams?? Anyway, 40 minutes and three pairs of shoes later, I remembered what I was meant to be doing and headed off to a sporting goods outlet where I spent about two minutes purchasing unflattering but necessary goggles and a silicone swimming cap. Boring!! Reading the multilingual packaging later, though, I was happy to note that I would in fact be donning a bonnet de bain the next time I visited my local pool. Doesn’t that sound so much better and conjure up images of graceful and languid laps of a warm saltwater pool surrounded by palm trees with handsome waiters on hand to deliver delicious fruitshakes and sweet little snacks? The girls in these photos certainly look like they’d fit right into that sort of environment. http://www.glamoursplash.com/2009/04/1950s-swim-cap-glamour.html
I will certainly aim to keep a calming image of handsome men, fruity beverages and palm trees in mind the next time I’m stuck behind an obese, painfully slow dog paddler who is taking up the medium lane (THAT’S WHAT THE SLOW LANE IS FOR!!!), deafened by little brats who have probably added to the liquid content of the pool in their own special way, or am being hurried along by inexplicable crowds of men in flippers who don’t understand the term FAST LANE at my local chlorine-fragranced aquatic centre. After all, I won’t be wearing a swimming cap. Non, non! *index finger waving in seductive and inherently French manner* From now on, it will be a bonnet de bain on MY head.